Understanding Burnout: Why It Happens and What You Can Do

Lately I've been seeing and hearing quite a few stories from people dealing with burnout, and some of them are really intense. One story, metaphorically speaking, was about a person with a knife stuck in their stomach. They clearly understand what the knife is, but for some reason, they’re not looking for ways to pull it out. Instead, they’re looking for band-aids. Little practices, small additions to their routine. Something to tape over the knife so it twists less and hurts less. Interesting, I thought.. Then I received news about another person, whose story ended in the saddest and most painful way imaginable. So I decided to say a few words about burnout. Maybe it will help someone improve their life. Maybe even save it.

We, as humans, are deeply layered. And of course, we’re all very different. Different in our inner nature, in how deeply we see and perceive things. But not everyone pauses to reflect on that. Still, each of our lives has some essential, foundational areas. These are like the base of a home:

• Work, business, or career

• Family and relationships

• Leisure and free time

• Inner, spiritual, emotional, and energetic world

• Connection with Earth and nature

All of these areas are deeply connected. They nourish and recharge each other.  When all of them are being cared for, when things are in harmony, a person feels good. Feels grounded, full of energy, and most importantly, feels happy. But if even one is pushed aside, it’s like a wall in your house becomes unstable. Things start to warp. The structure begins to fall apart. Balance fades. Health issues may surface – emotional for some, physical for others. A sense of emptiness or lack of purpose might begin to poke at you. There are countless ways it can unfold.

Coming back to burnout – although it’s usually discussed in the context of work, it can actually happen in any area of life. It might arise in your job, your relationships, your free time, or even in your self-development. The core reason, which applies to all these cases, is giving too much energy into one specific thing. And at some point, the current of that thing simply sweeps you away. This could be a broader life area, or it could be just one specific thing: a project, a romantic partner, a child, a subject you’re deeply exploring, creative work, personal practices, and so on. And this is where the most important thing is to understand the root cause – what is actually influencing this. Why did you subconsciously decide to focus more energy and attention on it than you actually should?

There are many possible reasons. They may differ from person to person, and of course, not all of them are listed here. But here are some of the more common ones:

1. The urge to compensate for something lacking in another area of life. For example, when things aren’t going well in a relationship, someone might try to compensate with excessive focus on their career or constant entertainment. If work feels unfulfilling, they might dive into intense personal growth efforts, pour themselves into family life, or jump from one short-term partner to another. Instead of compensating, it's crucial to look at the root of the imbalance and address it directly. Compensation is an illusion. If a person is gasping for air, water won’t help. If they’re starving, solar energy won’t nourish them. If the inner world, the soul, is neglected, no amount of work, fun, or people will fill that gap. Similarly, failure in one area can be a direct result of having poured too much energy into another.

2. The strong desire to help, to please, to prove something, or to be needed. Sometimes it’s driven by the longing for love or attention. The subconscious believes that this way, something valuable will be received. Other times, it feels like repaying an invisible debt, even if we’re not consciously aware of it. But often, this ends up being a disservice to ourselves. Again, the key is to understand why. Why are you giving too much? Are you seeking more love, energy, attention than feels balanced? Are you really in debt to someone, or do you just feel that way? Again, you need to look for the reasons why this is happening. What is it that you are truly meant to do? Are you really not seeking too much attention, energy, or love? Are you truly in debt to someone, and is this really the way you're supposed to act? More importantly, you need to understand why you shouldn't act that way – and what the cost of doing so really is.

   
   

3. Subconscious programs passed down from family, culture, system or even internalized over time. For example: “Only hard work leads to success,” or “The more I do, the more I’ll have,” or “I must give all my love and attention to my partner.” These beliefs can lead to imbalances. You may find yourself giving too much, your partner withdrawing, and then blaming them – slipping into a victim mindset. Another example: “My child is my whole life,” when in reality, your child is a beautiful part of life, not all of it. Or: “I need to give MAX” when in truth, you need to give 100%, not the maximum. Or that thought – “If I don’t do it, who will?” which becomes a silent trap. I know some might think this all sounds abstract or far-fetched, but many people don’t realize how deeply these things are shaping their everyday lives.

   
   

4. Fear. Fear of losing something, missing out, not experiencing enough. But life offers us more possibilities than we could ever fully live. It’s simply impossible to have it all. That’s an illusion. What we are meant to do is follow what is right for us, when it is right, and as much as is right. And our heart is the only true guide that always knows what, when, and how much is truly needed.

   
   

5. Taking on too much responsibility. When this happens, it’s very likely that somewhere else in life, you’re not taking responsibility for what is actually yours.

   
   

6. Misaligned goals that are just draining you.

As you can see, the areas and reasons can vary widely. They overlap with your daily life and affect your overall quality of living. So if you’re sensing burnout, or getting close to it – the first thing you can do is start talking to yourself. Not just with your mind, as we so often do, but with the deeper part of yourself that sees and knows more than your conscious thoughts can grasp.

Ask yourself questions, and let the answers come naturally, openly, and honestly:

When did this start?

When did I begin heading in the direction of burnout?

Why am I giving this thing too much energy?

What am I trying to fill or receive through this?

What subconscious patterns are influencing me?

What do I truly need to do – or stop doing?

What am I missing, or where is there excess?

Why is this really happening?

When it comes to subconscious programs, the work is to recognize them and annul them – without replacing them with new ones. You annul them by seeing clearly where they came from and understanding why they are no longer true.

For instance, a belief inherited from parents or grandparents like “Only hard work leads to success.” You can annul this once you understand that your reality is very different from theirs. They lived in a time where physical labor was often necessary for survival, to grow food, to provide for a family. Today, the world has changed. The nature of work and the tools we have available are completely different. I think you get the point.

So look for those coded patterns. Examine them. Annul them. You might be surprised how your life begins to shift.

Reflect on whether all five core areas of life are receiving enough of your attention and energy. And if not, ask yourself what you could do to nurture all of them more fully.

Wishing each of you health, happiness, and the ongoing journey of expanding your consciousness and growing in all ways.

If you have questions or would like help working through your situations, feel free to reach out.

Ieva Jarasiene